We're Going Through Changes
by Undisclosed
Summary: Set post "Raincoats and Recipes". How will Lorelai, Rory, Richard and Emily deal with their respective situations? Part 4: Lorelai and Dean have a little chat. ON TEMPORARY HIATUS.
1. Chapter 1

A/N – This is my first Gilmore Girls fan fiction. There may be a couple of discrepancies here and there, but I'll usually mean them to happen, but feel free to point them out for me! I've lifted scenes from certain episodes that I liked to further the story. Consider this my reworking of season 5. This fic is meant to cover all the Gilmore's lives, but will focus on Lorelai, Rory and their relationships.

Setting: End of Season 4/Start of 5

Rory: Finished 1st year of Yale; slept with Dean, who's still married.

Lorelai: Kissed Luke, hasn't spoken to him since.

Emily and Richard: On the brink of divorce.

In this chapter, I lifted and edited scenes from 4.22 "Raincoats and Recipes" and 5.01 "Say Goodbye to Daisy Miller." Now, on with the story!

-

Rome, Italy – Just before dawn

Rory Gilmore tossed and turned in her bed, wishing that the night wasn't so humid. She angrily cursed the oppressive weather, dying for an iced tea, anything to cool her off and perhaps allow her some peace. But no, all that was available was some cheap instant coffee, and hell would freeze over before she drank that.

Rory listened to the gentle breathing of her grandmother, Emily. _She_ hadn't had any trouble sleeping, not even with the noisy couple going at it like nobody's business on the floor above. In fact, Emily had been annoyingly perky, charming every Italian whom she ran across, and oohing and aahing over all the sights. Rory couldn't deny that she herself had been amazed by Rome. It still astonished her that she, Lorelai Leigh Gilmore was, in Europe, living as only a millionaire would. Sometimes her grandparents' wealth frightened her, considering the fact that five years ago, her mother had to scrimp and save to afford Rory the pleasure of going to New York City on a two-day field trip.

After continual tossing and turning, Rory got up and wandered into the bathroom. She got herself a drink of water, amazed by how good Italian tap water tasted, and absently wondering if she could bring a vat of it back with her to Stars Hollow. Studying her refection in her mirror, she saw a pretty blue-eyed nineteen-year-old girl with chin-length brown hair and a dimple in her chin. She looked the same as always, even though she most definitely was not...

_Stop it!_, Rory cried out mentally to herself, willing herself not to think about Dean. She had tried her hardest to forget what had happened, not wanting to face the consequences of what she had done. _Grandma would just love it if she knew that her darling, straight-a, "perfect" model granddaughter had lost her virginity to a married man, a man whom her grandparents hadn't even taken to when they had met nearly three years ago.,_ Rory thought wryly. Suddenly she wished with all her heart that her mother were here with her, helping her make sense of the crazy turn her life had taken in the span of a few short weeks. But things between Lorelai and Rory were definitely not resolved. Rory had left for Europe in a fit of anger and confusion, and aside from a couple of terse phone calls to check in back home, there had been no other communication. _How do you go from, "Hi, how's the Inn doing?" to spilling your heart out while your grandmother is a few feet away, eavesdropping on your conversation while pretending to be fascinated by her gelato?_

Rory walked out of the bathroom and strode over to the window, where the first light of dawn was breaking. The city was still sleeping, and the faint reddish glow that was creeping up over the horizon made Rome look even more magical, if that was even possible. Rory stared it for a minute and sighed, thinking about how her mother would have loved to be here with her. She looked down at the dress she had left the night before, and blood rushed to her face – it was the last dress she had worn as a virgin. Rory picked it up and inhaled its scent deeply, still able to pick up the trace of Dean's cologne. At this simple action, tears rushed to her eyes and she angrily brushed them away, no longer able to suppress the memories…

Flashback: Just over a week ago…

_Dean glanced around Rory's room, while Rory nervously looked on, twisting her dress. They made some small talk, completely inconsequential, both trying to hide their nervousness. Finally Dean brought up what both were thinking but trying to hide "You know, I had a feeling that maybe if Tom hadn't come in when he did-" _

_Rory quickly interrupted him, suddenly wishing that he hadn't brought it up, "Dean?" _

_Knowing what she was about to say, Dean jumped in, "It's not working with Lindsay. I can't make it work. I've tried." _

_Rory tried her hardest to suppress her feelings, not daring to hope that Dean might still have feelings for her. "Are you sure? Because I've heard that the first two years of marriage are the hardest." _

_Dean vehemently dissented. "No! We're not happy. She's not happy, and I can't make her happy. It's over. We both feel it. I know we both feel it." When Dean repeated his last sentence, Rory wasn't sure whether he was trying to convince her or himself. Neither, for that matter, was Dean._

_Rory slowly reiterated, "You both feel it's over?" _

_Dean shrugged his shoulders, giving Rory a look that she couldn't decipher. "I tried. We tried."_

"_Well, if it's over, I'm sorry." _

_Dean gave Rory a look of disbelief, but she could also discern the first wisps of hope appearing on his face. He asked, "You are?" _

_Rory realized that she was possibly sounding trite, saying things because they were the things to be said. However, that was what she felt, and she knew that Dean would know that she was sincere. "I'm sorry you're not happy." _

_Dean made a gesture as if to move towards her, but then stopped, fixing his gaze on anything but her. After a moment that to Rory seemed to last an eternity, he replied, looking into her eyes, "I'll be happy again. Things happen for a reason, right?" As he spoke, he took a hesitant step in her direction. _

_Rory did the same, stammering, "Right. I can't believe this is - that we're..."_

_Dean had to smile; even though four years had passed, Rory was still the nervous, blushing girl he had struck up a conversation with when they were still high school sophomores. "I can…"_

_That was the end of conversation. Rory moved into Dean's arms, and when he kissed her, it was as if nothing had changed between them, that this was completely natural even though it was terribly wrong. As Dean's kisses deepened and became more urgent, she got caught up in his passion and put all thoughts and worries firmly out of her mind. Dean slowly lowered Rory to her bed… _

_Rory slowly became aware of her surroundings as she opened her eyes and looked around her. Dean was staring at her with such a look of tenderness on his face that she blushed. He brushed a tendril of hair off her face and leaned in to kiss her softly on her lips. "I love you, Rory."_

_Rory sighed happily. "I love you, too, Dean."_

_They were both lying in Rory's bed, sheets up to Rory's chest, both with identical, soppy looks of happiness on their faces._

_Sighing again, Rory thought aloud, "This right here, is - the textbook definition of a perfect moment." _

_Dean kissed her shoulder. "Yeah, it is." _

"_And I'm happy, are you happy?" _

_Dean smiled in between his kisses on her shoulder and neck. "I'm very happy." _

_Rory laughed as Dean found her ticklish spot and began kissing her there. "Happy, but not chatty?" _

_Dean turned her around so that they were fully facing each other. "I'm just… trying to make sure that all this is really happening." _

"_It is." They leaned in for another passionate kiss, taking their time over it. Rory broke away and said, "Hey, you know what I think we need?" _

"_What?" _

"_A song. Like a song that's "our song". Something romantic, but not mushy, something that will make us remember this."_

_Dean chuckled, "Ah, believe me, I'm remembering this." _

_Rory smiled mischievously, and Dean raised his eyebrows in surprise - it was a bit disconcerting to see her so self-confident, almost cocky when just moments before she had been extremely nervous. "Oh, I know." She reached over to the nightstand and loaded a nearby CD into her player and turned it on. Okay. Perfect. So, from now on, no matter what you're doing, where you are, you'll stop and think of me when you hear this." Sammy Davis Jr.'s "The Candy Man" started playing._

_Dean laughed, grabbing Rory in a tight hug. "That's not gonna be our song." _

_Rory wriggled out of his embrace so that she could settle in his arms more carefully. _

"_Why not? It's perfect. It's happy. It's hopeful. It has the word 'candy' in it. Hey, what is more hot than candy?" _

_Dean cringed. "Pick something else." _

_Rory started bobbing her head in a highly exaggerated manner, while singing so off-key that Dean actually removed his hands from Rory and put them over his years. _

_"Who can take the sunrise… sprinkle it with dew" Rory sang louder to aggravate Dean._

_Dean removed his hands and made a grab for the remote, trying to distract Rory by nuzzling her neck and shoulders. "Okay, okay, okay, okay. I'll pick something else." _

"_No!" As distracting as Dean's ministrations were, she still managed to keep a hold on the remote. _

"_Hand it over, I can't take it anymore!"_

_Rory smirked triumphantly, holding the remote well out of reach. "This is what happens when the women get the remote, ah-ha!" _

Back to the present…

That moment was effectively when Rory's happiness ended. Just then, Lorelai had burst in and caught them both looking extremely guilty. The next day was filled with avoidance of each other, speaking only when they needed to. Rory wanted so desperately to have the "morning after" talk with her mother, but after their row, it seemed to be just another impossibility.

Rory made no effort to stem the tears that were flowing down her cheeks, holding on tightly to that pink dress as if it were her lifeline. "I shouldn't have had to lose my virginity like this," she whispered angrily. "What happened to being able to celebrate it, enjoy it? How did things get so messed up?"

Up until that point, Rory had all but forgotten about Lindsay, Dean's wife. Now, as Lindsay's name invaded Rory's mind, she began to feel incredibly guilty. No matter how awful a woman Lindsay was, she didn't deserve to be cheated on, especially as she had taken pains to try to get along with Rory.

Dean hadn't even called to see how she was. In the span of twenty hours, from when Dean left the Gilmore house to when Rory left for the airport, she had heard nothing from him. Not even Dean, her first love, her first lover, had been bothered. Rory tried to convince herself that he was probably agonizing over how to proceed, and she ultimately couldn't blame him, but it still hurt like hell.

Rory slowly wiped her face with the back of her hand, and looked out of the window again. The sky was now flaming pink, and the sun could just be seen peeking over the rooftops. She slowly walked to the other window, facing westwards, and whispered, in a defeated, broken voice, "Mom, I need you."


	2. Chapter 2

Thousands of miles away, Lorelai Gilmore stared out of her window, looking at the dark eastern sky. If you told her at that very moment that coffee was bad for you and should be declared an illegal substance, she would have nodded blindly and murmured something along the lines of "Whatever you say", so engrossed was she in her thoughts. Even though she was extremely tired from the long hours she had been pulling at the Dragonfly, she couldn't bring herself to sleep.

Lorelai wearily sighed and dragged her hand through her dark-brown shoulder-length hair, grimacing as her fingers tore through a large knot. She turned around and trudged downstairs to the living room, almost tripping over the clothes that were strewn all over the place. She almost expected Rory to come up with a sarcastic comment about her slovenliness or her clumsiness, but too late, she remembered that Rory was not there.

Lorelai picked up a photograph of herself hugging Rory. _Great,_ she muttered to herself_, I get to do the whole staring-at-a-photograph-to-bring-back-painful-memories thing. This has to be the low point of my life._ Despite her cynicism, Lorelai couldn't help recounting that awful fight when she had walked in on Rory and Dean…

Just over a week ago

_After watching Dean walk away, Rory turned to her mother and stammered, "I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it first. I know I promised I would, but I swear, I didn't know that this was going to happen. I mean, I didn't know he was going to show up tonight, and it just happened. It's awful for you to find out like this, I know, but everything's okay. I'm okay, and we were, you know, safe. So, all those Trojan man jokes all these years really apparently stuck. And I'm lucky, too, because Dean, he's - well, aren't you glad that it happened with someone who's good and really loves me?" Her daughter looked hopefully at her, praying that they would somehow, through some miracle, see eye-to-eye on this. _

_Lorelai was in too much shock to grasp anything of what Rory said. All she could see was Rory's rumpled bed, and Rory, her baby, looking disheveled and extremely guilty. All she could say was, "But he's married." _

"_You don't understand the situation. It's not working out between them. They're not happy. He tried the best he could, but it didn't work. It's over." Rory spoke with conviction, but Lorelai could detect a tremble underscoring Rory's words._

_Lorelai spoke slowly, "He told you he's leaving her?" _

"_Well-" _

_Lorelai said angrily, "You, of all people - the girl who thinks everything through, the list maker - you jumped into bed with a married guy?" _

"_He's not a married guy. He's Dean - my Dean! He's in love with me, not Lindsay!" _

_Lorelai countered, "He's not your Dean. He's Lindsay's Dean. You're the other woman." _

"_She's not good for him, okay? She lets him quit school and work himself to death and-" _

_Lorelai couldn't believe that this was her daughter talking. "No, Rory, uh-uh, you can't be one of those girls who blames the wife for forcing the husband to cheat."_

"_He wasn't cheating." _

"_He was cheating, Rory. He was cheating, and you were cheating with him." _

_Lorelai stopped and looked hard at her daughter, wishing with all her heart that she were dreaming. She said softly, "This is your first time. It's just not the way your first time was supposed to be." _

_Rory replied defensively, "My first time was with someone sweet and kind who loves me!"_

"_I didn't raise you to be like this. I didn't raise you to be the kind of girl who sleeps with someone else's husband!"_

_Rory was clearly furious now, and she spun on her heels and rushed to the kitchen door. "I don't want to talk about it anymore." _

"_I just don't want you to get hurt, Rory. What if he doesn't leave her? Now you're all emotionally involved." _

"_You're just mad because I didn't come running to you to discuss whether or not I was ready for this step. I decided it on my own." _

"_Well, obviously, you weren't ready for this step. The very fact that you chose another girl's guy to sleep with proves that!" _

"_He was my boyfriend first!" _

"_But you dumped him! You rejected him! You picked someone else!" _

"_Stop it!"_

"_Rory!" _

_Rory cried out, tears streaming down her face. "I hate you for ruining this for me!" She walked out of the front door, pulling on her sweater. With shaking hands, she dialed a number on her cell phone, but hung up seconds later, sobbing, with her knees to her chest. Lorelai's heart broke, as she made her way to her daughter's side… _

Present

Lorelai sighed wistfully, now turning her head towards the telephone. She couldn't bring herself to call Rory. How was she supposed to try to make sense of this when her daughter was on another continent? Part of what terrified Lorelai about this situation was also that the row that they had had was eerily similar to the one she had had with her parents twenty years back, just after Lorelai had told her parents about her pregnancy. Lorelai knew that at least Rory was safe – she trusted Rory when she'd said that she'd been protected – but her greater fear was that Rory wouldn't reconcile. These thoughts came rushing to Lorelai as they did every night, murdering all sleep for her.

Lorelai willed herself to think of something else, but she kept imagining the worst – Rory moving in with her grandparents and never wanting to speak to Lorelai ever again, never sharing the joys of movie night together ever again, never being able to hold her baby in her arms and work their way out through this mess… _Stop it!_ Lorelai yelled at herself sternly.

Sighing, she headed towards the kitchen and rummaged in the cupboards and refrigerator in the hopes of finding something to eat. She pounced on a bag of chips and absent-mindedly shoved handful after handful into her mouth. Trudging back to the living room, she stopped at the phone and noticed that there was one new message. Her heart beating fast, she hit play.

"_Hey, uh, Lorelai, I just felt, you know, like checking in, just so that you didn't think I'd committed suicide at the Ren Faire, or something. Things are OK here, um, there are actually a couple of half-normal people here. I'm, uh, not really sure when I'll be back, but I'll call you as soon as I get home. Well, uh, yeah, that's about it really. Oh! And, Liz says hi, and that she'll always be in your debt. Uh, nothing more to say really. Sorry I can't give you a number to call back, but you know how it is with travelers. Anyway, um… I'll catch you later, Lorelai."_

A smile spread on Lorelai's face until she was grinning like the jester at the Ren Faire. Luke's message, as inarticulate as it was, had made her mood do a total 180. She hit replay, and sighed dreamily as Luke's voice, brusque yet oddly shy, dispelled the silence in the room. After playing the message ten times over, she finally dragged herself away from the answering machine and literally floated up to her bedroom, collapsing on her back onto her bed. Staring at the ceiling, the beatific smile still on her face, she recalled every single detail of what had happened in the week before.

Wondering at the odd sensation when Luke had hauled her off the diner steps to caffeinate her. Feeling an electric shock go through her as Luke's hand lay on her stomach, while she was curved up against him, willing him to play along to ward off Sookie's new poultry man. The feel of Luke's fingers as it brushed her face when he picked hay out of her hair. The elation that she felt when Luke asked her to be his date for the wedding, and trying her hardest to be cool about it. Frantically raiding every store in the mall to find a good enough dress for the wedding… no, for Luke.

Lorelai grinned at that last memory, remembering how she had terrorized all the sales attendants a la Emily Gilmore. Rolling onto her stomach, she willed each moment to come forth.

Sharing laughter all through the ceremony. The feel of this thigh lightly brushing hers as he leaned over, begging her to find something morbid, to prevent an outburst of laughter. The jump that her heart executed when Luke asked her for a dance. The pounding her heart then gave her chest as she leaned into his half-embrace, resting her head on his strong shoulder, as they waltzed. Noticing how well their bodies fit together while they were dancing. How comfortable it felt walking back with him to her house, laughing and gossiping and reveling in each other's company. The shock that came over her when Luke asked her out on what could only be a date. _God, he was so confident, so at ease, and I was standing there stammering like an idiot!_

Lorelai now laughed out loud as the next moments came to her, as if on a slide show. She remembered walking into countless wall and doors, knocking things over, dropping (and even breaking) things, all set off because Luke had simply looked at her, with that half-smile dancing around his lips all the time. All that had stopped when Jason burst into the inn, made a nuisance of himself and scared Luke away. Lorelai even enjoyed the argument that they had had on the Dragonfly steps, and then… he kissed her.

No beating any more around the bush. No more denying what came to her in that instant, what she had been denying the past eight years. Her arms coiled up around his neck, her skin tingling as his hands rested lightly on her waist. His kiss grew more ardent, and she leaned into it, frowning as he pulled away. Then she pulled him back, preparing to kiss him even more soundly, before Kirk's screams filled the night air, as he ran out naked, yelling, with only a pillow to cover his groin.

That was the last time that Lorelai had seen Luke. His sister had called him away that night, begging him to come to the Ren Faire. Luke had scribbled out a note and left it on her doorstep, along with a pound of coffee beans. (Lorelai had to smile even more – would Luke never stop thinking of her?) Since then, there had been no communication between the two, and she longed to talk to him, to try to make sense of their new relationship. She hadn't told a soul about the kiss – she wasn't ready to share this new event with anyone yet. Not anyone… except Rory.

Lorelai's spirits plummeted, as she thought about how excited Rory would have been for her. But they couldn't have even shared that happiness. Lorelai didn't think that she could wait three weeks for Rory or Luke to return. Her thoughts raced through her brain, mixed with conflicting emotions and insecurity. She let out a sigh of frustration. Oh yeah. She was definitely not going to sleep tonight.


	3. Chapter 3

Lorelai stood at the front door of her parents' house, nervously twisting the hem of her jacket between her fingers, trying to work up the courage to ring the doorbell. _This is stupid. I've done this a million times before. Heck, I've done it a million times before facing two Gilmores. One can't be all that bad, right? OK, deep breath. Just lift up your hand, Lorelai, and push the damn button. PUSH IT._ She pushed.

The door was opened, for a change, by Richard Gilmore himself. He seemed surprised to see his daughter standing in front of him, looking extremely ill at ease. "Lorelai? Well, this is a surprise! Come in, come in." He ushered his daughter in and took her coat. While he went to put it away, Lorelai cast a quick glance around the foyer. At first sight, everything seemed to be as immaculate as usual, but Lorelai detected spots of dust that would never have formed under Emily's careful watch. The house also smelt of take-out food, a smell that Lorelai knew all too well. Far from being amused, Lorelai only felt a twinge of sadness.

Richard returned and led her to his study, offering her a drink. "I must say, Lorelai, this is quite unexpected. It isn't often that there's an occasion that brings you here aside from dinner." Despite his articulation, Richard too looked slightly uncomfortable.

Lorelai realized how rare it was for her to actually talk to her father and not be in a fight. As Richard fixed her iced tea, she sadly thought about the uneasiness in this room, as if she were an acquaintance. _I'm the only daughter. Aren't I supposed to be the apple of Dad's eye or something?_ The fact was, she had never actually been close to her father. When was the last time that they had had a conversation about something other than business and Rory, just enjoying the others' company? Although the wounds inflicted twenty years ago had healed, they still twinged on occasion, reminding her of the bridge between her and her parents, the bridge that would never seem to break down. If it weren't for Rory, would they actually have a reason to be together?

Richard interrupted her musings when he handed her a glass of tea, which she accepted with a quiet expression of thanks. After a few moments of silence, Lorelai asked, "Uh, Dad, I won't stay for long. I just came by to… apologize." Richard remained speechless. "I mean, I should have come sooner, or at least telephoned you, or something, but what with the inn going haywire and the staff not listening to any of us, plus I didn't really know how to word it. So, I guess I'll stop beating around the bush, then." Lorelai took a deep breath. "I'm sorry that I forced you and Mom together during the test run. I know that I shouldn't meddle in your affairs, and it was probably totally thoughtless. I guess I must have acted out of desperation, right Dad?"

Richard took a moment before replying in a neutral tone, "That's quite all right, Lorelai."

Lorelai was extremely confused, yet not surprised. It wasn't like her father to give in so easily, but the manner in which he'd accepted her apology was nothing less than what she would have expected. Still, Richard knew that Lorelai did not concede defeat easily, so why was he not more surprised? And they were broaching dangerous territory – relationships were somewhat of a touchy subject in the Gilmore house. Lorelai pressed on. "It's just hard for a kid to see her parents, whom she thought would stay together forever, to be in such a bitter fight. What was I supposed to do?"

Now Lorelai could see the first glimpses of anger cross her father's face. "First of all, Lorelai, what happens between your mother and me stays between your mother and me. Second of all, I would hardly call you a kid. You're thirty-six years old, for heavens' sake! And thirdly, as harsh as it may sound, you're hardly one to talk about presenting a good example of family."

Lorelai gasped in hurt and amazement. All she could do was to stare at her father, open-mouthed. Finally, she spoke, "Dad, whatever you said, I'm going to pretend that…"

"Oh, for heavens' sake, Lorelai, you're never one to pretend, so do not start now!"

Lorelai rose in fury. "Well, if it's one thing I've learnt from you today, it's how not to accept an apology. Dad, do you have any idea how difficult it was for me to back down? No-" as Richard started to interrupt her, "please, just listen to what I have to say, whether you like it or not." She took a deep breath before continuing, pacing the floor of her father's study in earnest, "I may not have been the perfect daughter, but you and Mom are the perfect couple, as trite as it may sound. You've always been in sync with each other – Lord knows how many times I've wished that it weren't the case whenever we argued – but that's the truth. She's done nothing but dote on you, and you on her. My God, things were going great between the two of you. I don't care what it was that you disagreed over, whether it was some stupid lunch with Pennilyn Lott or Jason's lawsuit, or whatever crap you want to use to explain it away. You two have survived so much – me disappointing you, the mess I made when I came to your door four years ago, begging for money, again, that really doesn't matter. What matters is, how can you let this happen, Dad?"

Richard rose and faced his daughter. "Lorelai, I'll say it again, it is none of your business!"

"Dad, I didn't come here to fight with you, as crazy an idea as it may seem. I came because I'm truly concerned about what's going to happen, despite your fixed belief that I don't give a shit about what happens in our household, aside from wanting to take your money and blow it on trivial things like your only grandchild's education. Speaking of which, don't think for a minute that Rory hasn't caught on yet. If you don't consider me a compelling enough reason to get together with Mom, what about Rory?"

Richard looked furious. "Dad, don't bother showing me the door. I can see myself out." Lorelai grabbed her purse and walked purposefully towards the door. As she reached for the door, she turned around and said more softly, "Dad, do you know how hard it was on Mom when Grandma died? You were grieving, of course, but did you know that Mom found the letter that Grandma wrote you, begging you to leave her at the altar? All this after forty years of trying to please your mother, in vain, just so that you would be happy. I'm willing to bet my new inn that that's something that's led to this rift between you and Mom. Before you do anything else, just think about that." Having said that, Lorelai pulled open the door, ready to walk out.

"Lorelai, wait."

Lorelai turned and saw her father's face, now devoid of all anger, but filled with confusion. "Emily found the letter?"

Lorelai swallowed. "Yes, in one of Grandma's filing cabinets, while she was taking inventory."

Richard still wore that bemused expression on his face. Lorelai cautiously waited, unsure how to proceed from there. "Lorelai, please sit down." Lorelai walked slowly back to the couch and sat down, waiting for Richard to continue. "Lorelai… Emily never mentioned this to me. Do you know anything more?" Even though Lorelai was mindful of the tension in the room, she couldn't avoid the plea in her father's voice. "No, Dad, there's nothing really more to say, except… when I disappointed you and Mom, I was too proud to come back and reconcile for a long time. Mom, however, refused to give up, hoping that she and Grandma would eventually see eye-to-eye on things. Guess that never happened, right." Shrugging wistfully, Lorelai sighed.

Lorelai and Richard looked at each other for some moments. Finally, Richard broke the silence. "Lorelai, I still stand by what I said – this is between me and your mother." This time, Richard interrupted Lorelai, as she started to speak. "I do, however, owe you an apology." He sighed. "I'm not saying that what you did at the inn was totally justified, but I can see why you did it. It was wrong of me to attack you in the way that I did."

Lorelai let a small smile creep up on her face. "Thanks, Dad."

Richard chuckled. "Well, I hope I can accept an apology like that next time." They smiled at each other shyly. Finally, Lorelai spoke, "Uh, I guess I'd better go."

Richard stopped her again. "Wait, Lorelai, if you're not too busy, perhaps you could stay for lunch?"

Lorelai hesitated, before shaking her head slightly. "No, sorry, Dad. I have to get back to the Inn. How about meeting me for dinner at the Dragonfly tonight? Say, around seven?"

"That would be lovely, Lorelai. I'll see you at seven, then."

Walking back to her jeep, Lorelai couldn't shake the bemused expression off her face. On the one hand, she appreciated her father trying to build back their broken relationship; on the other hand, it was disconcerting to resolve their fight, or at least call a truce, so quickly. No Gilmore clash had lasted any less than a week. _The times, they are a-changing._ Lorelai mused.

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"Michel, I don't care what you say, you do not tell guests to get their own towels!"

Lorelai glared at her manager. Michel was being as irritating as he usually was. Normally, she could talk him down into an apologetic state (or, at least, a more apologetic state), but today he was being unusually stubborn and so… French!

"Well, Lorelai, you can hardly blame me. This woman was extremely odious, not to mention horrifyingly slothful. The towels were in a lovely fluffy pile, all ready to be put painstakingly by us slaves into the cupboards… Lord knows why I am working here; I never had to bear such disgraceful…"

Lorelai winced, feeling a migraine coming on. "You know what, Michel? Save it. If you want to keep your job, I suggest you apologize to her, IN PERSON, and offer her a complimentary breakfast-in-bed, hand-delivered by you at a time of her choosing, and paid for by you. _Tu comprends?"_

Michel glared at Lorelai. Finally, he said in a huff, "Fine, I will do as you ask. But I have one simple request – kindly refrain from massacring my beautiful mother tongue." With a sniff, he returned to doing the accounts.

Lorelai groaned and stormed into the kitchen. "Coffee!"

Sookie looked up and grimaced sympathetically. "Oh, Michel being a pest again?"

"Replace 'pest' with vindictive little as…"

Sookie cut in hastily. "Here, drink this." She held out a mug of steaming Colombian Roast, which Lorelai grabbed eagerly and guzzled down. When she was finished, she set down the mug and sighed. "You, Sookie, are my new hero. My savior. My _raison d'etre._ My one true hold on reality. My… well, I love ya, hon."

"Okay…" Sookie eyed her friend with a confused look on her face, which melted into concern, when her inquisitive gaze landed on the dark circles under Lorelai's eyes. "So, Lorelai, how much sleep have you been getting?"

Lorelai squirmed under Sookie's piercing gaze. "Did I mention I like your coffee?" "LORELAI!" "Okay, okay, so Sleeping Beauty's not exactly my role model of choice nowadays, but I'm fine. You're the pregnant one, so how about I phone Jackson up and give him the third degree on your REM patterns?"

Sookie knew that there was more to the story, but that Lorelai wasn't willing to share. Accepting the situation, she asked, "So, how's Rory doing?"

Sookie was startled to see Lorelai redden. "Uh, well, I guess she's doing OK."

"You guess?"

"Well, we haven't really been in touch these past couple of weeks, you know, with the time zones and all…"

"I'm sorry, are you the real Lorelai Gilmore? Because the Lorelai I know would not let a minute go by without a scheduled update from Rory. Honey, is everything okay?"

"Yes, everything's fine! Honestly, Sookie, you're reading way too much into it. I gotta tell ya, your hormones are shooting off in all the wrong directions here."

Sookie would have continued playing Twenty Questions but… "Oh crap, not the pasta sauce!" She rushed over and started flapping around anxiously, yelling at everyone in the room, including the unfortunate trainee who'd nearly cut his finger off at Sookie's outburst. "People, are you trying to see me get bad reviews? Do you want me fired? I'll have you know that a produce guy's salary isn't going to support a family of four…!"

Lorelai slipped out as Sookie became otherwise preoccupied, grateful for the interruption. She didn't want to keep anything from Sookie, but she wasn't ready to talk. _Argh!_ Lorelai groaned as the melange of emotions – confusion, sadness, disappointment, joy, worry, anger, giddiness, to name a few – washed over her. _Not this again!_ She'd successfully kept her mind off of Luke and Rory, but no. It just had to come back and bite her in the ass, didn't it? Now all she had to do was to start her period to ice that cake. _Perfect!_

Lorelai sat down in her chair and banged her head against her desk, willing her thoughts to go away. So caught up was she that she didn't hear the knocking on the door. Willing her emotions gone, she yelled out, "Go away!" just as the door opened.

"Uh, sorry, is this a bad time?"

Lorelai sighed in frustration and looked up. She froze. "Dean."


	4. Chapter 4

There weren't many things that scared Dean Forrester, but he would have willingly run back into his house and under his bed to escape the contemptuous glare that Lorelai shot him. In fact, she looked like she was ready to castrate him. It took all his will power not to turn around and flee.

"Uh, I'm sorry to barge in like this, but Michel said that I could come here to pick up my pay cheque…" His voice trailed off when Lorelai's withering gaze remained fixed on him.

They stared at each other in silence, Dean's trepidation matching Lorelai's disdain.

Lorelai broke the silence. In a sarcastic tone, she remarked, "No, now's as good a time as any." She rummaged around in her drawer and pulled out her cheque book, filling in the necessary information with vehemence. "So, Dean. What should I put under "services rendered"? You think that my bank will accept "taking my daughter's virginity" as a reason for a tax write-off, or would "adultery and being an all-round son of a bitch" swing me those extra few bucks?"

Ouch. Lorelai hadn't wasted time getting down to the heart of the matter.

"Uh-"

"If it weren't for the fact that murder is punishable by death, you'd have been six feet under a week ago, my friend." She ripped the cheque out forcefully. "My God, Dean, what the hell were you thinking? For that matter, were you even thinking?"

"Lorelai-"

"No, I don't wanna hear it. I seriously doubt that you could actually say anything that would get you off the black list. But let me ask you – why Rory? What the hell did she do to you that you had to fool around with her?" Dean could see tears forming in Lorelai's eyes, and the heartbroken look that came over her face was even more terrifying than any amount of scorn she had heaped on him before.

Lorelai inhaled with a shudder. "I trusted you, Dean. I trusted you enough to let Rory fall in love with you. I should have hated you, so that Rory would never have thought twice about touching you with a ten-foot barge pole. You know why? Because if I'd kept you two apart, Rory wouldn't be in Europe trying to get away from this crummy situation, and I wouldn't be standing here praying to God that I won't start crying until I finish giving you the verbal lambasting that you undoubtedly deserve!" At that, Lorelai's voice broke, and she struggled to keep her composure. With a shaking hand, she held out the cheque and he quietly took it. He didn't know whether he wanted to apologize or yell at Lorelai, but one thing was clear. He had to get the hell out. However, Lorelai seemed nowhere near finished with him.

"Well, Dean? I did ask you a question, so how about you doing the crazy thing and answering, huh? I'm interested in knowing exactly what it was that made my daughter feel like nothing more than a dishrag after you were through wringing her out."

Dean exploded. "Look, it's none of your damn business, Lorelai."

Lorelai replied icily, wiping her eyes, "You'd better believe that it's my damn business. And I suggest that you start talking."

Dean glared at Lorelai, unsure how to respond. How could he explain the whole situation without making it look like he was escaping blame, or that he was putting the blame on Rory? "I don't know, okay?"

"Strike one. Try harder."

"Look, you know how bad things have been with Lindsay recently! You've seen how miserable we've been-"

"Strike two. You know, you're gonna have to do better than to put any of the blame on Lindsay. That's the coward's way out. Last chance."

"God damn it! That's the truth! Rory's the only one I could talk to, who wouldn't pass judgement. She was there for me. And, I don't know… it just happened."

"And we've gone pass the third strike and are somewhere on the sixth, or…you know what? You knew Rory was going through a rough time too. And you just took advantage of her!"

"Now, lis-"

"No, Dean. YOU listen. Just because Rory was there for you, it didn't mean that you had to sleep with her! Don't pretend that you didn't know that she was falling for you all over again. By the way, do you even love Rory?"

Dean was speechless. He desperately averted his gaze, focusing on anything but Lorelai. Dean knew that his silence would condemn him, so, "She wasn't falling in love with me!"

"That's real cute, Dean. Nice dodge. To answer your point, you and I both know that it's a total lie. That girl was more than in love with you – she broke her heart over you. And you don't have to answer me – you just made it easier for me to hate you, now that I know that you were just in it for a quick screw."

"That's… that's totally untrue."

"Oh, my bad. I meant to say, quick screw, heartbreak and home wreck. You have no idea how good Jess is looking right now."

Dean almost had to admire the placement of Lorelai's barbs. She knew just where to get him. "If you must know, Jess was the one that broke Rory's heart, and I was the one to pick up the pieces. HE just kept coming and going, and I had to stand and watch her fall and get back up time and time again."

"But did you have to sleep with her?"

Dean burst out angrily, "This is ridiculous! I don't have time for this." He moved to the door, but Lorelai barked. "Dean! I won't hesitate to cancel that cheque if you so much as put a toenail out of that door."

Dean reluctantly turned around and looked at Lorelai sullenly. "Why do you even want me here? You obviously aren't going to pay attention to what I say, anyway."

"Correction. I did pay attention. And, by the way, what you said was more or less bullshit. But you know what? None of it actually matters, because you'd still be pond scum in my eyes. And the only thing stopping me from telling all of Stars Hollow is that Rory would be the talk of the town as well."

"Oh, so it's okay for me to take all of the blame, but Rory's innocent?" Dean regretted those words the minute they flew out of his mouth. If looks could kill, he'd have blazed his way down to Hell a long time ago…

"Don't you even think about giving me that crap. You've done enough damage as it is."

"Since when is what happens between me and Rory your business?"

Lorelai looked at him in incredulity. "That isn't even worth dignifying with a response. And let me finish. You will not try to communicate with Rory in any way for the next few weeks. You will keep your mouth shut about this to everyone, including your poor wife, until Rory gets back. And then you will talk to her, grovel some more, admit to being a bastard and then leave her alone, for good. And I'd give me a wide berth too. I don't care what you do after that, as long as it doesn't involve any Gilmore. As far as I'm concerned, you can go to hell. Are we clear?"

Lorelai's words, delivered with the deadliest calm, chilled Dean to the bone. He knew that what she was telling him was the right thing to do, the best thing for everyone in the long run. Lorelai was right; he knew that what he felt for Rory wasn't love. Loneliness, lust, memories… all of them had led to that life-changing night, but love wasn't it.

Dean angrily fought the overwhelming feeling of sadness that threatened to break his composure. Looking at Lorelai, who was feeling as much, if not more… nothing. That's all he had… a shell, all his fond memories and happy times reduced to a faint shadow. Dean knew that this wasn't over, but it would have to rest for now.

Dean cast one last look at Lorelai, who had now turned away from him. He pocketed his cheque and walked out, silently shutting the door behind him.

At the sound of the door closing, Lorelai let the dam break and burst into tears, making no effort to restrain them. She curled up on the couch, rocking back and forth ever so slightly.

Lorelai glanced at the telephone, longing to telephone Rory and comfort her. However, Dean was right – it was none of her business. Rory had to deal with it on her own; only then could she put it past her and move on. Lorelai knew all this all too well, but it didn't make it any easier on her. There was nothing more she could do, until Rory came home. Till then… tears continued to fall, until she could weep no more.


End file.
